Humorous Dark Side T-Shirts

The practical psychopath

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Out To Lurch

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

End the Winter Blues

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Housekeeping?!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Zombies.

Optimist

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'