Humorous Correspondent Gifts

"What I love about our friendship is the way we never see or speak to each other."

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

In baseball we can't practice social distancing when everybody is told to stay at home.

Man Reading story 'U.F.O. Sighted' with alien peeking over his shoulder.

Tabloid clippings.

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."

Due to doom and gloom throughout the world, a laugh track will be added to tonight's newscast.

Elon Musk's Twitter Bid

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

'I was warned about online dating.'

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

'I'm going to need a Margin of Error or I can't publish your prediction of 6 more weeks of winter.'

Bird Watchers Club of America.

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

"Would you like to dance with me?"

popcorn...

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Editor. Here's a story about the government negotiating pacemaker prices with the manufacturers. "Ticker kicker dicker"!

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

'Let's play house... you can be my ex-husband.'

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'

'Celebrity autobiography editing'

'Marriage is sharing, Carol, so I'm happy you earn twice as much as me.'