Humorous Birthday Gifts

Lying, cheating, stealing. Lucky you passed the kitten-stranded-in-traffic test.

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"What a pity you couldn't bring it with you - I just got word that you won the lottery."

Skeleton playing fetch.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I'm here for the hair."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

A Real Pinata Surprise

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"All I got was a cake and a card."

'Didn't we fly over this hill ten minutes ago?'

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

'Why can't he just blow out the candles like everyone else?'

Happy birthday to you!

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

Sixty

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you can beam back down to earth for a cheeseburger!"

"I'm afraid the writing is on the wall..."

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

'I wish I was still wearing size 32 underwear.'

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY better than a cake that resembles your nose...