Birthday Humor Gifts

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'What did you get him?'

"Happy birthday. In your honor we're offering a two-for-one special."

Skeleton playing fetch.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I'm here for the hair."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

A Real Pinata Surprise

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"All I got was a cake and a card."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

'Why can't he just blow out the candles like everyone else?'

Happy birthday to you!

Sixty

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

"I'm afraid the writing is on the wall..."

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you can beam back down to earth for a cheeseburger!"

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

'I wish I was still wearing size 32 underwear.'

'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY better than a cake that resembles your nose...