Birthday Humor Gifts

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'What did you get him?'

"Happy birthday. In your honor we're offering a two-for-one special."

Skeleton playing fetch.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I'm here for the hair."

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

A Real Pinata Surprise

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

"All I got was a cake and a card."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

Happy birthday to you!

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

Sixty

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY better than a cake that resembles your nose...

'Congratulations, it's a statistic.'

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

"You don't understand - in 'Dog years' that's over 200!"

"Picture this: it's my birthday, my mistress comes towards me with a cake and then, she sets it alight! I was so scared I've been feral ever since!"