Humorous Anecdotes Gifts

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Newton discovers surrealism

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

'Okay, but don't try to operate it until I invent insurance.'

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Ok, who told him to stick his tongue on the iceberg?

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

Napkin Writer

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

Sooner or Later

'Could you just sign it 'Bobby'.'

"There's Colonel Clapworthy alone with his memories - dirty old devil!"

'Marriage is sharing, Carol, so I'm happy you earn twice as much as me.'

'No, nothing permanent. Just maybe spend a little less time together each day, that's all.'

Motivational Speaker Series. He ends all of this anecdotes with an inspirational message. The morale of the story.

"Woo-hoo! Grog finally nail pesky fly!"

'I gave Brian his marching orders last night and he goose-stepped round the bedroom!'

'Bloody hell, Jack and Jill! Can't you do a simple thing like fetch a pail of water without getting stoned?'

'He'll not be writing any more quick-fire gags now he's crawling along at that speed, eh, Ern?'