Lover Of Humorous Anecdotes Gifts

"He thought he named a star after me, but it was only a piece of flaming space junk."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Newton discovers surrealism

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'How was your luck, dear?'

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'Pavlov's first experiment'

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

Napkin Writer

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

He began with an anecdote, spoke off the cuff, digressed from an aside, and flew off on a tangent.

"All day, every day—'There's a goddam fly in here!' It's so hurtful."

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

"Believe me, you don't want to know where it all comes from."

"This one allows release of your information to a sitcom."

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

"There's Colonel Clapworthy alone with his memories - dirty old devil!"

'Could you just sign it 'Bobby'.'

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

"OK, he's hooked–now reel him in."

'Something's wrong here.'