Humorist On Holiday Gifts

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Claus 2.0

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

High security Santa's grotto

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

Hiding the electronics.

That one has all the batteries!

"Ninja bread men"

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Airport Security.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'