Humorist Of Haute Cuisine Pillows

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Night of the Latkes

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'The Burrito King.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

A Club Sandwitch.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup