Humorist Of Haute Cuisine Mugs

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Night of the Latkes

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'The Burrito King.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

A Club Sandwitch.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."