Humorous Chef Pillows

Noodle exchange program.

Police Crime Scene tin can.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'The Burrito King.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

'Needs more kale.'

Alphabet soup

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'