Humor-loving Chef Pillows

Escaping Egg

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'The Burrito King.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Amy Sedaris

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Needs more kale.'

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"