Culinary Humorists Pillows

'I'll have the porridge...' 'That sounds terrible. I'll have the blueberry pancakes.'

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

"Orthopaedic Surgeon are we? Well, you'll enjoy our spare ribs as starters followed by a main course of either Leg of Lamb, Shoulder of Pork, or Neck Chops."

A Club Sandwitch.

"It's our version of the doggy bag. Permit me to take it to madam's car."

The cake diet.

Wine makes me sleepy!

"...Oh wait, it's just my reflection."

'Buns, rockcakes and paperweights.'

'How did you ever get this job, Mom?'

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

Menu: Cock...

Tartar sauce.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"States of tofu"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Soup of the month.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Chez Nous Menu

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

6 Brothers Falafel