Food Humorist Pillows

Banoonoos: 'They've been phonetically modified.'

"Don't look now, but those onion bagels are following us again."

'Yes, I'm ready for Pesach, but you know, matzah just doesn't attract the children like gingerbread.'

'Granted, we don't have quality, but we do have quantity!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Immature cheese pulling a face

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Live yogurt.

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

"Special tonight, sir, leg of laggard."

'85% fat free, 100% taste free'

"And as the hand reached in the coop a voice whispered; 'you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelette'!"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Deviled ham. Deviled egg. Oh thank goodness! Devil's food cake.'

". . . and then, Iceberg goes, 'you know a LOT of people really like just a lettuce and tomato sandwich!', I literally spit out my drink!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'It won't be long now, sir. The chef has already sent the chicken a death threat.'

Mice spice

'Mom can't talk now - she's hitting the bottle.'

Not eating natural foods because most people die of natural causes.

Fruit store

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'Consumer alert! Consumer alert! - If it tastes good, spit it out!'

"Nothing organic!"

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"What in the world is that?"

Please pardon our appearance during rennovation

"Please listen carefully as the menu has changed."

"My god, those capers are huge!"

"The crème bruleé is always good."

"This place is famous for the way they serve eggs."

"Sheesh Kebab"