Humor In Haute Cuisine Pillows

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

A Club Sandwitch.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Carpe pizza"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'YAY! PATE!'

Tartar sauce.

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

Chefs-R-Us

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Master Chef

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

The cake diet.

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

"Gravy turned out a little thick."