Humor Loving Weight Watcher Pillows

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

"I can't wait for neolithic to start. I am sick of this paleo diet."

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

"Be it fever or cold, Mr Goldsmith, in your case, I think we should starve them both."

Food guide.

"Harold, I think your obsession about your weight is getting out of hand!"

Chromatic Scale

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

'Forget about it - we'll never get a lite slop around here.'

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

Successful dieting is just a matter of finding the right diet.

Hungry man chasing elephant with knife and fork

"All diet books, 69 cents a pound."

'Don't you like to do anything illegal or immoral?'

'Cheer up, at least it makes you look taller.'

'I can't hold on much longer! And quite frankly, you're not helping.'

'Eating celery burns more calories than not eating it. Throwing the horrible stuff away burns even more.'

'...until the doctor put me on this bread and butter diet nothing worked for me.'

"My fortune says 'The first day of your diet will be hard but the second day will be easier.' That makes sense. By then I'll be off my diet."