Weight Watcher With A Funny Bone Pillows

"My fortune says 'The first day of your diet will be hard but the second day will be easier.' That makes sense. By then I'll be off my diet."

'Your shoe's untied.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

New Years Reolutions

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Instagram!!!

'You always have the 'Last Laugh.' Why don't you order something else for a change?'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'The best thing about Ann's Aerobics, is it's location.'

'It took a lot of willpower but I finally gave up dieting.'

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

'The last thing I knew he was on a plane to an obedience school in Omaha!'

Woman weighs herself on scales, holding helium balloons.

Time Scales

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

"AWW! We ALWAYS do a scavenger hunt!"

"How's the new diet working out?"

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

'Don't you like to do anything illegal or immoral?'

"All diet books, 69 cents a pound."

Successful dieting is just a matter of finding the right diet.

"I don't care how many sets of bathroom scales I've returned to you. This one's defective too!"

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'