Weight Watchers With A Humorous Touch Pillows

'Do these pants make my bum look fat?'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'How is the new diet going?'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

The hand's gone around twice.

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

Scale SOS!

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

Portions of a thin and fat man.

Armed forces recruitment - 'Guaranteed weight loss by sweltering in Iraq or Liberia!'

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

Show down between woman and weighing machine.

'I'm on this 3 month diet...it only lasts a week, but it feels like 3 months.'