Laughing Weightwatcher Pillows

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'You are 14st 3lb..But then, you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.'

"Your health insurance only kicks in when you can run 100m in under 10 seconds."

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"Be it fever or cold, Mr Goldsmith, in your case, I think we should starve them both."

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

"Brace yourself!"

Chromatic Scale

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

'Forget about it - we'll never get a lite slop around here.'

'If you want to keep slim, you've come to the right place!'

"All diet books, 69 cents a pound."

'Cheer up, at least it makes you look taller.'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

"My fortune says 'The first day of your diet will be hard but the second day will be easier.' That makes sense. By then I'll be off my diet."

No thanks, Bill, I'm allergic to chocolate. It makes me break out in pounds.

Jogger gets passed by running stroller.

'It won't help.'

'Do these pants make my bum look fat?'

"Have you bee dieting? I swear you're thinner!"