Weight Watchers With A Humorous Touch Prints

'Do these pants make my bum look fat?'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Turns out it was all water weight."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

Dessert Storm Veteran

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'How is the new diet going?'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

1) Daddy Long Legs 2) Daddy Large Pituitary.

The hand's gone around twice.

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

Armed forces recruitment - 'Guaranteed weight loss by sweltering in Iraq or Liberia!'

"Still fat."

Scale SOS!

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

"Holy cow! I've gained eight pounds!"

'I'm on this 3 month diet...it only lasts a week, but it feels like 3 months.'