Humor Loving Weight Watcher Gifts

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Turns out it was all water weight."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

My budgie likes Mars bars.

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"Still fat."

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

"That's what happens when you combine lo carb with lo fat fat diets."

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

"Harold, I think your obsession about your weight is getting out of hand!"

Food guide.

"I can't wait for neolithic to start. I am sick of this paleo diet."

"Be it fever or cold, Mr Goldsmith, in your case, I think we should starve them both."

Chromatic Scale

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

'Forget about it - we'll never get a lite slop around here.'

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

Successful dieting is just a matter of finding the right diet.

"All diet books, 69 cents a pound."

Hungry man chasing elephant with knife and fork

'Don't you like to do anything illegal or immoral?'

'Cheer up, at least it makes you look taller.'

(South Beached Whales)

When I said you needed a varied diet I didn't mean just all 12 varieties of 'Krispy snax'

'Eating celery burns more calories than not eating it. Throwing the horrible stuff away burns even more.'