Humor-loving Numbers Person Gifts

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

The Life of Pi

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Staff Yearbook

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Warning: Math Ahead!

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Reign Man

Pi fight!

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Pork Bellies.

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

Here We Go Again

'But the short term view is very good.'