Numbers Lover Gifts

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

The Life of Pi

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Graduation Speech.

Gloat

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Staff Yearbook

Math Teacher

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."