Number Lovers Gifts

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

Probability: 10,000-1, 150-1, 6-1, 2-5, 1-20, 50-1, 10,000-1.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

The Life of Pi

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Gloat

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Math Teacher

Staff Yearbook

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Mine's bigger than yours."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

Warning: Math Ahead!

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

Reign Man

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!