Humor In The Kitchen Pillows

Cafe French: 'Great food...When the chef isn't depressed.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'I was in the catering corps.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Amy Sedaris

Avocado Timeline

'Needs more kale.'

'He's all eyes!'

The secret lives of household things.

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Decaying corpse

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"...My daughter, the model..."

'You made me jump,'

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."