Cooking Humor Pillows

'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

"So the microwave's got a popcorn button, but the popcorn bag says don't use the popcorn button, and I'm like, Microwave people! Popcorn people! Get your act together!!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

Deliboys

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Carpe pizza"

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Sisyphus Sawyer

'Needs more kale.'

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'YAY! PATE!'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Stay at home food pyramid

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'