Food Humor Pillows

'Sorry, sir, but that's what your prescription seems to say.'

Humpty Dumpty replaced by egg substitute.

Sisyphus Sawyer

Brutus stabbing Caesar an accident

The vegetarian butcher.

Women in doughnut shop - 'Get down! It's someone from our exercise fitness class!'

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

"There. Fly problem: solved. You need anything else, or can I go back to my break?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"I know you didn't order meatballs. That's the gravy."

"And where have you been all night?! Your eyes are all glazed over."

'I love peanuts!'

'Well, yeah, the hot dog is 10?, but the BUN is $3.40.'

Fine candies: Healthy eating is our no. '6' concern.

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

How Creamsickles Are Made.

"I can't sleep not knowing where all the gluten from gluten-free products goes."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"The gluten is free. The pizza, however, cost $12.95."

'Hi, we're salt and pepper, your condiments for the evening.'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Waiter says to customer: 'Yes sir, that is the seafood platter. If you wanted something on it you should have said.'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"This IS our diet pizza. As I told you, it's a hole pie."

...wait a minute. It's not really National Hot Dog Day?!

'Spaghetti are al dente, chef!'

'I just stopped by to tell you how much I hate you.'

Feeding the troops chilli in biological warfare.

Fat man picking up women in supermarket

'This box must be fresher. It has to be sold by July 2800, where as this one has to be sold by June 2905.'

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

Meredith, I'm ho-ome! Mmmm... What're you cookin', Sweetie? Smells delish!

'I usually discourage high-fat foods, Mr. Hall, but in your case, a Good Humor bar is in order.'