Food Humor Prints

'Sorry, sir, but that's what your prescription seems to say.'

Humpty Dumpty replaced by egg substitute.

Sisyphus Sawyer

Brutus stabbing Caesar an accident

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

The vegetarian butcher.

Women in doughnut shop - 'Get down! It's someone from our exercise fitness class!'

"There. Fly problem: solved. You need anything else, or can I go back to my break?"

"I know you didn't order meatballs. That's the gravy."

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"And where have you been all night?! Your eyes are all glazed over."

Waiter says to customer: 'Yes sir, that is the seafood platter. If you wanted something on it you should have said.'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"The gluten is free. The pizza, however, cost $12.95."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I can't sleep not knowing where all the gluten from gluten-free products goes."

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

Fine candies: Healthy eating is our no. '6' concern.

'Well, yeah, the hot dog is 10?, but the BUN is $3.40.'

'Hi, we're salt and pepper, your condiments for the evening.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'This box must be fresher. It has to be sold by July 2800, where as this one has to be sold by June 2905.'

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

'Spaghetti are al dente, chef!'

Meredith, I'm ho-ome! Mmmm... What're you cookin', Sweetie? Smells delish!

'I just stopped by to tell you how much I hate you.'

Feeding the troops chilli in biological warfare.

Fat man picking up women in supermarket

Prepper Cows

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"The tuna fish I ate for lunch is on the warpath."

"Steamed kale is best with something tasty sprinkled on top. Like a large pepperoni pizza."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"