Humor In Hardship Fan Gifts

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

"At least my putting has improved."

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

Use Next Window.

Shoveling Snow

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

ATM at gas station.

'Nurse, we think you might be getting a little too close to the patient.'

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"... Till death us do part."

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

'Business is so bad even the shoplifters have stopped coming.'

Jack and the Skyrocketing Cost of Building Materials

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

'I told you not to kick the vending machine!'

Children and cat crashing on cart

Man selling kneepads to desert crawlers.

'We thought he was providing calm, thoughtful guidance through the financial crisis. Turns out he was just taking a nap.'

'Then again, it probably wasn't that bad. I do tend to exaggerate.'

Masochist Shop Special, pay up to 200% extra!

Psychiatrist gag

'Hey, go find your own executive retreat!'

'Misfortune Cookies: A piano will fall on your motorcycle in the near future.'

You want a scary Christmas story? I'll tell you how much my rail fare was to get here.

Orville was so close the landing the big accounts.

' Well..That's the last of our water.'