Humor In Gardening Gifts

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"Lift your stems."

For the new gardener.

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'

'Look what my son gave me!'