Humor Afiicionado Gifts

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Why do they do that?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Love at First Sight

"Cat box"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Easter Island legs

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

The Fourth Little Pig

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.