Humor Afiicionado Pillows

'Say, wasn't that the bluebird of happiness?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Why do they do that?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Easter Island legs

"Cat box"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Love at First Sight

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'