Humour Aficionado Pillows

"Let's see which cartoonist or comedian needs to be burned on the pyre of cancel culture today!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Zombie standup

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Easter Island legs

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Love at First Sight

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'