Humor Aficionado Gifts

"It sort of makes you stop and think, doesn't it."

"For Heaven's sake, why don't you go outdoors and trace something?"

All-Candy Seder.

"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

By Strategic Use of Postcards, Thoreau Manages to Keep Walden Pond Unspoiled

'Merle, do you think we sound stupid when we say 'aaargh'? I mean, it's not really a word, is it?'

"Otis - stop playing with your food!"

"The ringing in your ears-I think I can help."

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

'That's just sick!'

'Loosen your bindings.'

"Take your time."

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

"So, before passing judgment, please consider that science now shows that the male brain is not fully developed until never."

"Hold on a second. I have no idea where my ears are."

This is your brain on cartoons

"I'll never be Big Bird."

Christmas Lunch; Australian political style.

"Wow! Whose idea was the cheese log?"

"Scotch and toilet water?"

'Just how long do you illegal aliens plan on stayin in our country?'

"As a matter of fact, you did catch us at a bad time."

"I'm afraid you have a yeast infection."

M-Day

'Before we discuss naughty and nice, can I see your privacy statement?'

RAF Rapidly Approaching Fifty

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

One funky rash!

Bob loved the outdoors. Wound up with quite a collection.

'Look, Jake, I like you, but I can't be your best friend AND your agent.'

'You're grounded.'

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

50 Grays in the Shade

'Is it peasants or pheasants you're not allowed to pick up if you hit them?'