Humor Affectionado Gifts

"Stay away from those ... they're fruitcake crumbs."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Zombie standup

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Easter Island legs

"Cat box"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Love at First Sight

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

The Fourth Little Pig

"That's not how I sat on you."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

Cut Price

"They're so adorable at that age!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Dogs and their thoughts

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"First date hairball... awkward."