Medical Satire Affectionado Gifts

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

Sitting in a tree

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Valentine Day

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"Do you do much walking?"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Uh-oh - climate change."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Love Birds love just being together

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'