Humid Humor Fans Pillows

'All this humidity is terrible for my sinuses.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Theatre Masks and Butts

The Brothers Grime

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

Tequila Mockingbird

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

The bird feeder.

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."