Absurd Humor Fans Pillows

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"I'm telling you Tom, that was the biggest piece of sh*t I ever sat on!"

Pastry Hat

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Boomerang cow.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Monster Clown

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Franz Kafka

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

The Hypnotato,

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

Magnet at scrapyard

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

Chick Billiard Ball

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

One afternoon on mars.

Cow Pat Planning