Humane Omnivore Gifts

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"You keep impeccable time."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

DIY Butchers

I know it sounds crazy, but whenever I'm hungry, I get a ringing in my ears. Pavlov's Dog" The Later Years.

"You ordered mammoth again?"

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

100% organic pork sausages

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Our fish are caught wild and never battered, at least while they're still alive."

We'll have whatever they are

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

'I'm a situational vegan. If someone else is paying it's an eight ounce kobi steak for me.'

Bacon Bits

Montana Health Food: 'BEEF 'N' BRAN SALOON, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

"I thought you went vegan."

Ill Advised Vegan Survey

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!