Humane Omnivore Pillows

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"You keep impeccable time."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

DIY Butchers

"You ordered mammoth again?"

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

We'll have whatever they are

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"Our fish are caught wild and never battered, at least while they're still alive."

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

"I don't mind being butchered. But I can't stand the thought of my legs going in one box, my breast in another, my wings in another. . ."

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."

100% organic pork sausages

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'I'm a situational vegan. If someone else is paying it's an eight ounce kobi steak for me.'

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

Bacon Bits

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

Montana Health Food: 'BEEF 'N' BRAN SALOON, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

"Grass-fed, organic, free-range – it hardly even died."

"I thought you went vegan."

Ill Advised Vegan Survey