Four-legged Food Snob Pillows

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"You keep impeccable time."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

Inappropriate garnish.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

Gentrification of the Fridge.

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

To Doc who took care of me while I was alive...

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."

"It's not even artisanal."

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

"How do I tell a diner 'no ketchup' in a courteous, yet condescending way?"

'How do you expect me to reconcile Breughel's Wedding Banquet on your place-mats with bland mid-western cuisine?'

Gordon Ramsey's Dog.

'Oh good. I was afraid it was meant for us.'

'No Stilton?...what sort of a food bank is this?'

Gourmet Deli - Express Check-Out: $1000 or less.

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'