Hovering Guardian Gifts

'Oh no! My children are out of my sight!'

"He likes it."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

"People were steal his ideas"

The proper way to wear your mask

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Bleak House

Beekeeping 101

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

'Nap time's over, Ms. Doan. You have to wake them up.'

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

See, no monster under your bed

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

"Police. Nobody move or groove."

'The kids just get so upset when a pet dies, so we decided to get one of these tortoises that live to be 150.'

'Sheep-dogs give me the creeps: I can't tell if they're watching me or not...'

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

"They'd better not have done anything to my whales."

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

"Well, I can't read, but I assume it's a sign the humans have put there to show it's a rubbish dump..."