Safety Guardians Gifts

Ebola reaches USA

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Children and the pandemic

"He likes it."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"Beware of God"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

The proper way to wear your mask

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

"But is it Organic?"

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

One last question before i take the job.

'The kids just get so upset when a pet dies, so we decided to get one of these tortoises that live to be 150.'

Make a careful study of these creatures and use every means to combat them...

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

"They had to make that it guy the CEO. He won't reveal the Master Password."

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'