Housing Humor Fan Gifts

Renting is so expensive these days. Why don't you move back with your parents? Good idea, except...they're still living with their parents.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"The blow drier is broken."

An exaggeration of estate agents

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"I've downsized."

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"Please don't go!"

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

Did you remember the mousse?

Affordable housing

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Read the baby page instead."