Housing Humor Fan Prints

Renting is so expensive these days. Why don't you move back with your parents? Good idea, except...they're still living with their parents.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"The blow drier is broken."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"I told you not to leave without taking out the garbage!"

"I've downsized."

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"Please don't go!"

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

'Dang! The water's expired.' (Spring Water).

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'

"Read the baby page instead."

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'Your wife came by and left a message'

Did you remember the mousse?

Affordable housing