Housing Economist Gifts

'The mortgage became affordable when we sub-divided.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I remember when all this was fields.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'With the economy the way it is, I'm going to have to let one of you go.'

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

The Heating Oil Problem.

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

How to save on your heating bill...

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'