Housing Analyst Gifts

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I remember when all this was fields.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Real Estate Personals

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

House hunting is cruel.

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

'They're playing house.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

New Homes

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

Turtle Eviction

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Battery Farm Housing

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.