Housing Market Philosopher Gifts

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"I've downsized."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Affordable housing

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

Battery Farm Housing

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.