Housing Department Worker Gifts

'Try not to think of it as a BOX, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I didn't spark joy."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"I had to skip my workout."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Cook and her Maids

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Bathroom Fairy

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

The household cavalry

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

I'm organizing the house. Can I help? Do you have any storage bins for stuff we don't use very often? Hold on. I have just the thing! Thanks, mom.

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."