Housing Authority Employee Gifts

"I've found a filing cabinet here...a prime development opportunity! I reckon you could get three studio flats out of it!"

Quality Control

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Homeless count.

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

Battery Farm Housing

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"There, that's better!"

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

'That's the Director of Housing. She isn't taking the news of the rates freeze too well...'

The Bright Side

'Yes, I know I told you only this morning that the property was within your price range....and this morning it was.'

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'

Cut and Paste.

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

Housing association charities resist government right-to-buy proposals.

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

"This housing shortage is getting ridiculous!"

"What you have to ask yourself is, do you want to get on the property ladder or not?"

"Star Wars. . . Batman. . . Pirates. . . What we should be building is affordable housing."

Affordable Housing Estate Agents - 'It's affordable if you're rich...'

'I'm sorry, but we haven't seen a price range that low since Roosevelt was in office.'

'So you want a transfer from light fittings.'

Golden Parachute