Housing Officer Gifts

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accomodation!"

'Housing shortage, what housing shortage?'

'Try not to think of it as a BOX, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!'

Council Flat/Arts Council Flat

"All this talk of a 'lack of affordable housing' is nonsense....I should know, I've got six!"

'I know he's not my usual type, but I was really turned on by his bedroom tax eyes.'

"Since the council started refurbishing to a high standard he's having difficulty letting his rat infested shoeboxes."

"This so called bedroom tax has really hit a raw nerve with your Sid hasn't it!!"

'You're disabled, on benefits and, have too many bedrooms - the council's downsizing you!'

Guide to Conservative Economics: Housing Policy

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Wait a second, Dad...did the three little pigs have a home owner's policy to cover huffing and puffing?'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Homeless count.

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

Early House Hunting.

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'